The Stable Girl
by thequeenqueen
Summary: "Regina was sitting behind her kitchen table when it all came back to her. Her past, all of it. She had thought that now, after all these years living in Storybrooke, her past would finally leave her alone, but she was clearly wrong." A Swan Queen fic. Contains dialogues from S01E01, S01E02, S01E04, S01E21, S01E22. Special thank you to emmatheorphansavior from tumblr.


Regina couldn't believe her eyes. She and Emma had been friends since they were four years old. They had grown up together, playing with her dolls in the woods, on the fields, sneaking away at night to lay on the grass next to the stables and watch the stars. It drove Cora crazy that Regina always got home all messy and dirty, her dresses ripped and scratches on her beautiful soft skin because she and Emma liked to play hide and seek or run around the woods to see if they could catch up with the wolves. She never cared that her mother couldn't stand Emma's presence, her father like her and that was all that mattered. Emma was her best friend and when her father hired Daniel years later, he became really close to both of the girls.

The three of them were inseparable. When Regina turned seventeen and Daniel gave her this little horse carved out of wood as a gift, she realized that he was more than a friend, that he had always been more. They shared their first kiss under the moonlight on the same night of her birthday and two days later, when Regina was lying in Daniel's arms, she swore to stay with him forever.

"I'll never leave you, I promise."

And now, a year later, when she was finally ready to face her mother and tell her that she has found the love of her life, her true love, and that she wants to start a family with him, she was about to suffer a betrayal from the two people she thought could never hurt her. Everybody in her family was already sleeping and she had sneaked out of the house to share her ideas with her two loved ones. Instead, Regina was standing next to the stable and biting her tongue not to scream, peeking through the slightly open doors, tears streaming down her face.

Daniel and Emma were inside making sure the horses had everything they needed before the nightfall, as always – nothing she hadn't seen before – when Daniel's hand suddenly found its way to Emma's lower back and she giggled. He stepped closer to her, turned her around and pulled the girl against him. Emma looked away and blushed, but the young man forced her to look into his eyes and she finally gave in. She knew that it was wrong, that she had to hold back her feelings, that this person wasn't meant for her, she had already lost the opportunity when she found out about his relationship with her best friend. Regina was the only friend she had ever had, the best one she could have hoped for, but the way Daniel was looking at her just swept her off her feet somehow. Emma couldn't breathe when she felt his touch on her cheek and when he pressed his hot lips on hers, her mind just went blank.

Daniel was in love with Regina, but deep down he always knew that her mother would never let them be happy together, Cora would kill him first. Emma, on the other hand, was someone he could have an actual life with, not running away, not being afraid of anyone's wrath. The little blonde orphan was as poor as he was, she wore the same old, ugly clothes that smelled like horse sweat but she was real. She understood him, she cared for him, she made him feel home. He couldn't stand the thought of losing Regina but he knew better than anyone that it was going to happen sooner or later and that there was nothing that he could do about it.

He pressed Emma against the wall and started to lift her blouse, his knee parting her legs as he felt her heartbeat grow faster and faster. Daniel pushed Emma on the hay that was lying in the corner of the stable and climbed on top of her. He was burning from desire but not for Emma, for Regina. However, he knew that Regina wouldn't let him touch her before the wedding and there wasn't going to be one, he was absolutely sure of that. He was so afraid of losing her that he decided to do whatever it takes to bury his feelings for the girl she loved more than his own life.

Through the already blurred vision, Regina saw Emma lying on the hay, breathing heavily and closing her eyes when Daniel ripped open her blouse and made his way down to kiss her breasts. Regina was shaking, holding herself up against the door not to faint and yet she couldn't look away. When he stopped to open his belt, Regina finally regained her strength and ran as fast as she could, stumbling, falling, getting up, falling again and getting up over and over again, to get away from this nightmare that was now her life.

Daniel slipped her hand between Emma's legs, looked her deep into the eyes and whispered: "Are you sure about this?" When he spoke, it took Emma a second to clear her mind and realize what they were doing.

"No, don't."

"What's wrong, Em?"

"What do you mean? Everything! I can't believe how stupid I am…"

"Emma, don't worry about this. You know as well as I do that Cora will never let me marry her, it's just a beautiful dream, it will never happen."

"So what does that make me? A second choice? You know what, actually, it's not you. It's me. Forget it."

"Emma, I didn't m…"

"Don't you touch me, ever again! If you do, you will regret it, I promise."

After a sleepless night fighting with the tears, Regina decided to break the only promise she had ever made. She had to leave Daniel and not only that, she had to get rid of both of them. Regina walked down the stairs to meet her mother for breakfast and pulling herself together, she spoke loudly:

"Mother?"

"Yes, my love."

"Emma and Daniel, I want them gone."

Her voice came out stronger and less shaky than she had thought.

"What happened? I mean, it's the first time in years you are making any sense with your requests but it is still in my interest to know why."

"It doesn't matter, mother. I don't want to see them ever again."

"I can arrange that… No, wait. If you want them gone, you have to send them away yourself."

"What?"

"I'll get them for you."

Everything always seemed so easy when her mother was taking care of her problems but she never thought that, with a mother like Cora, she would get a chance to do anything herself. Regina didn't like the feeling, she felt sick when Emma and Daniel stepped into the grand salon.

"You wanted to see us?" Emma hesitated.

"Yes, in fact I did. I want you both gone by tomorrow morning. And make sure I never see you two again."

"But we haven't done anything wrong…" Daniel couldn't even start when Cora silenced him with her gaze full of disgust and pride.

"I think you both know exactly what you have done. I just want you to know that I will never forgive you."

"Regina, I…" Emma started but she wasn't allowed to finish when Regina waved the house guards to take them away.

"Regina, I am proud of you."

She always thought that it would make her happy to hear those words from her mother but she didn't feel a thing. It didn't make her happy, she felt more like dying. _Never again_, she thought, _I will never trust anyone again_.

* * *

Regina was sitting behind her kitchen table when it all came back to her. Her past, all of it. She had thought that now, after all these years living in Storybrooke, her past would finally leave her alone, but she was clearly wrong. It made her really angry that she hadn't killed Emma and Daniel when she had the chance because now she was back. And not only was she back, she also claimed herself to be the mother of his son. What kind of a sick destiny was that supposed to be? When she cast the curse and sent Emma and Daniel to Boston, she never thought that either of them could come back for her. They weren't supposed to be able to cross the town line to Storybrooke and yet there she was. Of course, her childhood best friend didn't remember anything from her past, she had taken care of it but still, it wasn't exactly the happy ending she had imagined for herself.

When her son brought Emma to Storybrooke, Regina almost fainted in her own front yard.

"_You are Henry's birthmother?"_

"_Hi."_

It was her. The little blond stable girl she had loved so much. Her best friend. It took her all the strength of the world to stay calm and pretend she didn't know who she was. After all these years, Regina wasn't sure whether she wanted to hug her or to kill her. Until the evil queen inside her reminded her she had forgotten how to love. No more of that dilemma. Still, there were some things she needed to take care of before offering her a chance to leave again and this time forever.

"_How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?"_

"_Got anything stronger?"_

After Emma and Daniel had left, she thought that she was free. Of course, that was a big mistake. Cora had made plans for her life as if it were hers. She tried to run, hide, even kill herself, but nothing stopped her powerful mother from forcing her into marriage. Regina never understood Cora's motives of wedding her to an old childless king. Her mother had always used magic to make Regina surrender to her own wishes and her own caprices. All her life, Cora had made her feel inferior, as if she weren't good enough for anything. It didn't matter how hard she tried, it was never enough.

Regina loved her mother; she even tolerated her parental abuse as much as she could because to her, Cora was sacred. She was arrogant, inconsiderate, even cruel, but she was her mother and to Regina, her parents were everything. They were until she forced her to marry with Leopold. To a certain point he was nice but he was almost three times older than her, he could have been her grandfather. Regina stood up and poured herself a glass of ice cold water. The thought of Leopold's touch still made her feel like vomiting. She drank the water and closed her eyes. They immediately filled up with tears.

She remembered too well her first night at the castle. _You're going to be a queen_, her mother had said. _If you want the people to love you, if you want to rule the kingdom one day, you have to make your husband love you. When he does, the people will follow. A great queen does everything to please his king, remember that. Your future husband wants a child more than anything. Regina, you are young and healthy, give him what he wants and the kingdom will be yours. I'm your mother, I know best. Trust me._The tears were sliding down her cheeks now as the flashbacks made her shiver. She remembered that when Leopold carried her to bed for the first time, the only thing on her mind was the image of Emma and Daniel making love. Regina never thought she would regret not surrendering to her desires back then but she did. And she felt… jealous. Jealous of Daniel and Emma because they had probably been sleeping together behind her back for a long time and she was there, in the arms of an old man ready to destroy everything that was left of her childhood. When her best friend and the love of her life were probably out there somewhere, poor but happy, she was about to enter the worst period of her life.

Regina's hands were now shaking heavily and she realized that without a drink she wouldn't be able to prepare her famous turnovers that she had gone to the kitchen to make. She went to get the bottle of apple cider she had placed next to her collection of red wine and poured herself a glass. And then another. The alcohol in her blood made her relax a little and yet she couldn't control the awful flashbacks or the nightmares. Side effects of the potion she had drank to get rid of her bad memories. She had made it when Rumplestiltskin had just started to train her and she wasn't yet sure about the side effects it might cause. Rumple would never have let her drink it but Regina hadn't asked for his permission and now she had to deal with the consequences for the rest of her life.

Mayor Mills considered pouring herself another one when it hit her again. An image of the younger version of herself lying in her own blood after the first time Leopold _made love_ to her as he liked to put it. It was anything but love, she was just a tool he used to get the child he so badly wanted. Now it was her turn to smile. He never got what he wanted, that was her revenge. The first time Regina went to Rumplestiltskin was to ask for his help to get her hands on something that would make her unable to have children. She was lucky that the dark one had only laughed to her face saying _Oh, don't worry, dearie, your beloved husband is not able to conceive a child, all you have to do is bear his intentions until he dies_. It was then and there when she realized that she wanted the king dead and she wanted it as quickly as possible. Had Rumple not seen the potential and opportunity in her back then, she would never have become the evil queen. And she would probably be dead by now.

At first she didn't know that the dark one only agreed to train her in magic because he needed someone to cast his curse. Would it have made a difference if she had known? Probably not, she was too desperate to get out of her miserable life and be someone for the first time in her life. First, she had to find a way to get rid of her husband, second, she had to figure out a way to make Emma and Daniel pay for what they did to her. She let out a bitter chuckle when she remembered what Emma had told her on her first week in Storybrooke. _You have no soul. How in the hell did you get like this?_Rumplestiltskin was right. There is irony everywhere.

Half an hour later, Regina had calmed down a little and started to prepare the dough. There wasn't any other way. The apple was the last bit of magic she had left in this haunted town. She was supposed to be happy but nothing ever turned out quite the way she had imagined. Henry was the only thing in her life that kept her from going completely crazy and now Emma was there to take her son away from her. To take _their_son away from her. It sounded like a bad joke, _their_son. With a little help from Doctor Hopper, who besides her and Mr. Gold was the only one in the town to remember bits from the past, she had found out that Daniel had died few years after she sent them away. Regina thought that his death would make her feel better and ease the pain – it was a proper revenge after all and she didn't even have to do anything about it – but it didn't. An unfamiliar feeling was building up in her chest and the more it grew, the more she wanted to kill it. She left the dough and started to cut the apple in slices. Emma was not going to leave town. Regina had gone out of her way to make her leave but she just wouldn't listen.

"_If you're wondering, I did find a place here in town."_

"_I know. How long is your lease? Oh wait, you don't have one. You see my point? In order for something to grow, Miss Swan, it needs roots. And you don't have any. People don't change, they only fool themselves into believing they can."_

"_You don't know me."_

"_No, I think I do."_

Of course she did. Better than anyone. She knew exactly who this stubborn young woman was. The feeling in her chest started to bother her again. And then it suddenly hit her. It wasn't Daniel after all. It was _her_.

Regina felt her stomach turn as she dropped the knife. It was not possible. All the hate that had been building up inside her was not about _them_betraying her after all. It was about Emma kissing Daniel, not about Daniel kissing Emma. I had always been about her, she just never truly realized that. Until now. _No, Regina, love is weakness. You can't allow yourself to love anyone but Henry._ _Send this woman away and make sure she never comes back._ She heard the doorbell ring just as she put the apple turnover in the oven. It was her, it was Emma.

"We need to talk."

"Yes, I imagine we do. I was just about to call you. Come right in. Do what you're so skilled at and make yourself at home."

Emma hesitated before speaking.

"I believe you came to see me." Regina helped her out.

"Right. Look, this isn't easy. I think that this, whatever is between us, needs to end."

Regina's heart sank for a moment but then she remembered that Emma didn't know anything about the past. She felt her hands starting to shake again and she made her best effort to keep her voice steady.

"At last, something we can agree on."

"I wanna make a deal with you about Henry."

"I'm not making any deals with you."

"I'm leaving town."

"What?"

"This… what we're doing is a problem and I'm gonna go. But I have conditions. I get to see Henry, I get to visit and spend time, whatever."

"And you get to see him, you're still in his life." _And your still in mine,_Regina thought._I'm sorry but I can't let that happen._

"Look, in any deal both parties are a little unhappy but let's be honest, we both know the world where I'm not in his life no longer exists and there's no one who can do anything about that." _Oh yes, there is. Me. I offered you a chance to leave and you didn't take it. Now I'm going to make sure you pay for what you did._

"You're right."

Regina asked Emma to follow her in the kitchen, packed the apple turnover for the road and handed it to her son's other mother. Emma looked her so deeply in the eyes that Regina thought she would lose it. That look was what made her fall in love with Emma at the first place.

"Thanks."

The blonde woman left the house, sat in her yellow bug and started the engine. Regina closed the front door and collapsed right there and then. First time in years, she couldn't control her emotions at all. As hard as she tried, tears found a way out of her dark brown eyes, accompanied by muffled whimpers. _How could you do this to me, Emma? I loved you. I loved you so much, I would have died for you. What did I ever do to you to deserve this? I loved you... I love you._

* * *

"He's gonna be okay though, right?"

"I don't know. Right now, we just need to stabilize him, 'cause he's slipping away. Is there anything else you can remember? Any little detail?"

"I already told you everything. Do something!"

"Look, I understand you're frustrated, Miss Swan, I do, but right now there's no explanation. It's like…"

"Like _magic_."

Regina's cell phone rings and voice from the other side tells her that Henry is in the hospital. What happened? She dries her tears and drives to the hospital as fast as she can. As soon as she gets there, Regina notices that Emma is also there. What the hell is going on?

"Where is he? Where's my son?"

"You did this. YOU did this!"

Emma grabs her arm and drags her to the hospital storage room. Regina has never seen her act so violently before. She almost hits her head in the struggle and intents to fight back.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop this! My son…"

But the blonde is stronger than her. She has changed a lot, gotten stronger, more muscular, taller. She presses her forearm to Regina's neck, almost choking her.

"It's all because of you! That apple turnover you gave me - he ate it!"

Regina's voice breaks. "What…? It was meant for you."

Henry ate the turnover. This was something she never considered could happen. Her boy, her little prince.

"It's true, isn't it?" Emma is now pressing her against the wall with all the strength left in her, crazy expression on her face, yelling at her as if she was some kind of criminal. And now she is, she murdered her son. _Their_son.

"What are you talking about?"_Could it be? Could she possibly believe in magic? Yes, it was Henry who convinced her. It had to be._

"It's true, isn't it? All of it…"

This is it. Regina gives up. She doesn't fight back anymore. The evil queen lets her guard down and she knows that she will regret it later. But the only thing she can think about right now is her son. And the woman she has been in love with her whole life. The mother of her son. Her best friend.

"Y-yes."

"I was leaving town, why couldn't you just leave things alone?"

"Because I…"

"You what? Speak up, Your Majesty, because I can't hear you."

_This is it, Regina, if you say it, there's no going back. If you say it, you'll have to deal with the consequences._

"Because I love you."

"You… _what_?" Emma loosens her grip and takes a few steps back. She turns her back to Regina and puts her head between her hands. "I can't believe this."

Regina steps closer, her chest almost touching the blonde woman's back. She breathes in the scent of Emma, it's different now. It's fresh and a little spicy. Just like her. She raises her hand to place it on her shoulder but stops a few millimeters before touching it. Regina takes a deep breath and places her hands on Emma's hips, turning her around and gently pulling her closer. The rest of the world has disappeared, it's only her and the woman she will never give up again. Emma raises her glance and meets her eyes. She looks exhausted and confused for a second but when she feels Regina's hot breath on her neck, an ice cold shiver goes through her veins, then she closes her eyes again. When she opens them, everything becomes clear.

"Regina, I…"

"Yes?"

"I remember".

Regina's heart skips a beat and she lets her hands fall off Emma's waist, gathering them nervously to her stomach. "You do?"

Emma's eyes darken again as she pushes her away. There's a look on her face Regina will never forget. A perfect mix of hate, disappointment, hurt and… love.

"Yes, I do. And you know what? Daniel was right the whole time. When you sent us away, before erasing our memory with the curse, you said _I will never forgive you_ and you looked at me. I was so sure that you had said it because you thought that I seduced your husband-to-be. But he knew. Daniel knew. He saw it in your eyes and he tried to convince me like crazy that you didn't say that because you lost him, you said it because you lost _me_. He never found out I loved you, too. I let him die thinking I loved him these few years he had left. But he knew that _you_ loved _me_."

"Emma, I… I didn't realize it back then. And I was hurt because whatever you say, Daniel _did_ cheat on me. Both of you did."

"I know. And I'm not saying you're wrong. But you should know that on that night you didn't see enough. Because I told him to stop. I didn't sleep with him because I _loved you_. I was young and stupid and curious but I never let him finish with what he started. I never stopped loving you. And I understood why you sent us away. I forgave you back then. But you are not the same person anymore. You have become a murderer. You killed my son because you were too ashamed or too afraid, or both, to admit that you still love me. I didn't have any money, I didn't have a family but I had a heart willing to love, once. I would have given you the whole world if only you had asked. No, I get it. You were too afraid to get hurt. But guess what? You got hurt anyway because you killed your son. Regina, you killed _our_son. And now it's my turn to say that I don't want to see you, ever again. I will never forgive you."


End file.
